一直以为有你的号码，所以没想到要联络。如今想联络，发现我们太遥远...
对这位前老板有着复杂的感情。我一直怨恨他漠视我在工作上的表现，给了以为比我晚进公司的同事擢升，就因为她长得美 （我认为）。不过比起会我曾遇过脾气又臭、会公报私仇的女主管, 他的人品又太好了。他是一个真心关心下属的人，但由于职务繁多，他常力不从心，所以又欠缺诚恳性。我是喜欢他的人品，但我们不适合当主仆。我一直记得他被调职时所说的，他不认为我们这群下属有能力接替副主管的位置。那句话宛如当头棒喝，当下我知道再待下去永远不会有作为。几个月后，我离职了。
三年来，没见面，听说他在新职位处得不好，不得下属认同。也听说他莫名患口腔癌，又离奇恢复，如今口齿没当年地清晰。
然后， 便是他离职的消息。这点让我太吃惊，因为在我的印象，他是少数对公司愚忠的人。可见其中必定有隐情。他人缘不好，所以得知他去向的人不多，好像大家都没兴趣知道。除了我。
原本以为永远失去联络的人，感谢神通广大的互联网，轻而易举给我查到他的动向。写了一封电邮，很快地得到答复。简短、工整又不失温暖的慰问。有些事情不会改变。他曾经不赏识我，但我还是相信他是一个重感情的人。从他电邮中文字的字体、颜色、大小、多年来不变，就能看得出来。
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
Wednesday, June 01, 2011
My #1 Pet Peeve
I do not like people cancelling dates on me. I just don't. There are many reasons why people cancel on dates, some people do it in advance, some people do it one hr before they are due to meet you. While I can live with the former, it is best served with an apology, preferably by phone or in person (never email or worse, sms), and (get this in your brain) an alternative.
Without an alternative, or an apology, the message you are sending is... "Someone more important just showed up, I gotta bump you outta my life. I'm only sorry because you are my spare tyre, and you have to learn it this way."
Maybe some people can live with being second best, but I can't. I like to think that I give my friends respect, and I hope they accord me with the same treatment. My time is just as valuable as yours. If we fixed a date, it means I blocked those hours JUST FOR YOU. It means I didn't plan anything with anyone else. If you cancel on me, it means...you know what... I might just have nothing to do that day. So, you wasted my life.
I guess my pet peeve all started in 2008 when I got mass-cancelled on by 3 friends on a Sunday date meant for 5. We were supposed to go ktv. Within 2 hrs of the date, 3 cancelled citing all sorts of weird excuses -- sick, work, and get this... gotta help mother do housework. It's interesting that you realise you are violently ill just 2 hrs before our date which we planned a month ago. It's also interesting that you are exploited by your boss and you are ok with it. And it's most hilarious that you are filial to your mom when you realise that 2 out of 4 of your friends are not going to ktv with you. I was already on my way to the date, so the 4th friend agreed to meet me afterall, but she was about 1 hour late, and by then I was already fuming. On my way home I remembered it poured heavily, and I had only mt tiny blue umbrella for shelter. I thought to myself, "If I fell and got run down by a car now because I showed up for a date which didn't happen, would any of my friends that cancelled on me feel bad?" My friendship with all 3 died that year because they didn't offer the apology or alternative I was waiting for. I was disappointed but not really sad. I guess our friendship died a long time ago, which is way I was not on their priority list that rainy weekend.
Since then I've been cancelled on many other times. 2 recent examples were: 1) a friend who claimed she was busy with work, then updated her facebook to say how much she loved watching "Thor" with her husband that same day she was supposed to go out with me. I gave her a piece of my mind via her FB wall and her insincere sms explanation. 2) my brother cancelling a date with me to go out with this girl he fancied. And when it was all over, he told me "I don't even regret it." The only reason I didn't want to quarrel with him that night was because it would affect my sleep.
I try to send a strong msg on how this is really a pet peeve to me. Most people do learn from their mistake and apologise. Others are less sensitive. Those people I just cut them loose from my life. Because they are so insensitive, they probably don't know it.
The good side to this is, it has made me treasure friends who DO make time for me. Sincerity goes a long way and it can't be taught. Would I take a friend who's cancelled on me back? Perhaps, if he/she apologises in person or by phone, and what the heck, email and sms is ok depending on how much I used to like the person. Afterall, sometimes people do learn from mistakes. And I can to, from making friends with the wrong person once.
Without an alternative, or an apology, the message you are sending is... "Someone more important just showed up, I gotta bump you outta my life. I'm only sorry because you are my spare tyre, and you have to learn it this way."
Maybe some people can live with being second best, but I can't. I like to think that I give my friends respect, and I hope they accord me with the same treatment. My time is just as valuable as yours. If we fixed a date, it means I blocked those hours JUST FOR YOU. It means I didn't plan anything with anyone else. If you cancel on me, it means...you know what... I might just have nothing to do that day. So, you wasted my life.
I guess my pet peeve all started in 2008 when I got mass-cancelled on by 3 friends on a Sunday date meant for 5. We were supposed to go ktv. Within 2 hrs of the date, 3 cancelled citing all sorts of weird excuses -- sick, work, and get this... gotta help mother do housework. It's interesting that you realise you are violently ill just 2 hrs before our date which we planned a month ago. It's also interesting that you are exploited by your boss and you are ok with it. And it's most hilarious that you are filial to your mom when you realise that 2 out of 4 of your friends are not going to ktv with you. I was already on my way to the date, so the 4th friend agreed to meet me afterall, but she was about 1 hour late, and by then I was already fuming. On my way home I remembered it poured heavily, and I had only mt tiny blue umbrella for shelter. I thought to myself, "If I fell and got run down by a car now because I showed up for a date which didn't happen, would any of my friends that cancelled on me feel bad?" My friendship with all 3 died that year because they didn't offer the apology or alternative I was waiting for. I was disappointed but not really sad. I guess our friendship died a long time ago, which is way I was not on their priority list that rainy weekend.
Since then I've been cancelled on many other times. 2 recent examples were: 1) a friend who claimed she was busy with work, then updated her facebook to say how much she loved watching "Thor" with her husband that same day she was supposed to go out with me. I gave her a piece of my mind via her FB wall and her insincere sms explanation. 2) my brother cancelling a date with me to go out with this girl he fancied. And when it was all over, he told me "I don't even regret it." The only reason I didn't want to quarrel with him that night was because it would affect my sleep.
I try to send a strong msg on how this is really a pet peeve to me. Most people do learn from their mistake and apologise. Others are less sensitive. Those people I just cut them loose from my life. Because they are so insensitive, they probably don't know it.
The good side to this is, it has made me treasure friends who DO make time for me. Sincerity goes a long way and it can't be taught. Would I take a friend who's cancelled on me back? Perhaps, if he/she apologises in person or by phone, and what the heck, email and sms is ok depending on how much I used to like the person. Afterall, sometimes people do learn from mistakes. And I can to, from making friends with the wrong person once.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)