何谓最佳影片？

一年一度的奥斯卡颁奖礼虽顺利举行，可惜受瞩目的指数一年不如一年。归咎下来是观众对奥斯卡“最佳影片”定义的质疑。

动画片《Wall-E》和漫画动作片《The Dark Knight》之前囊获多项影评协会大奖，成为少数成功集合商业及艺术元素的电影。奥斯卡宣布入围名单前，影评人和影迷共同期待奇迹。奥斯卡史上荣获“最佳影片”提名的动画片只有一部（近二十年前的《Beauty and the Beast》），而漫画动作片更是毫无先例。连电视台监制也希望能借助两部受欢迎的影片，挽救颁奖礼多年来的收视危机。

可惜事与愿违，两部片大热倒炉。这种所谓的genre bias现象一直存在。奥斯卡几年前突然设立“Best Animated Feature”奖项像是为了公平奖赏优秀的动画片，但也间接地影响了动画片与其他电影同台较竞的机会。以后，难不成也增设“Best Action Film”以鼓励动作片？

奥斯卡多年来拒绝奖赏的不只动画片和动作片。史上入围大奖的喜剧、爱情片、惊悚片屈指可数。反观标榜“重要”课题的剧情片，如战争、历史文化、政治、社会议题、人生哲学等，比较符合美国电影艺术与科学协会（也就是投选入围和得奖影片的群众）对“最佳影片” 刻板、狭窄的定义。今年入围“最佳影片”的五部电影刚好完全符合这类剧种!

除了genre bias，奥斯卡也因为片商种种不道德的行销策略而公信力蒙上一层灰。片商都知道自家影片若得奖就会刺激票房，因此不惜想尽办法灭他人志气，以长自己威风。今年大热门《Slumdog Millionaire》获得金球奖后，剥削印度籍小演员酬劳的丑闻瞬间曝光。紧跟着，又传出印度当局抗议片名使用“Slumdog” 贬义当地印度穷人的状况，似乎都是有心人故意很“凑巧”地安排，以减少《Slumdog Millionaire》受支持的程度。

再来，片商知道影片在越靠近奥斯卡赛前报名期上映，越能让投选人记忆犹新，越会提升入围机率。传言另一部入围片《The Reader》的制片为了挤入报名合格期，向同事施加压力，草率完工，引发制作群队强烈不满，赢了提名，却输了感情。

尽管诸多不满，我还是会继续关注奥斯卡颁奖礼，因为它是电影界的最大盛事。不过我希望奥斯卡可以实行新措施确保更公平、公正的投选方式，不要让好电影因为genre bias或不道德的商业策略，与“最佳影片”的头衔擦肩。

People Reading Course Results

Was clearing my cabinet when I came across this personality profile I did, 1.5 years ago.

I am an IFNJ - Introversion, iNtuition, Feeling, Judging

"Succeed by perserverance, originality and a desire to do whatever is needed or wanted. Put their best efforts into their work. Quietly forceful, conscientious and concerned for others. Respected for their firm principles. Likely to be honoured and followed for their clear convinctions as to how best to serve the comment good. "

That was 1.5 years ago. Not sure if it still stands true. Some bits are still similar to my current traits. But people change. Should do another test soon.

I Slit My Wrists In A Dream

Today was the first day I cried this year, and the first time I cried in this job.

I got reprimanded, together with another colleague, for not being able to follow through a project. I had always thought it was a case of my going on leave, and not being able to follow through. But apparently, the Boss took over because she thought I wouldn't be able to finish it on time, because I couldn't keep up. It really hurt, considering the fact that I put up 10.5 hours of work on average 5 days a week. So basically I work long hours, and it's still not enough.

There are many implications to this. Was I essentially poor worker? Were my job expectations mismatched with my boss' expectations? Was my boss wrong for hiring me, when she should have gotten someone more experienced? Was it the bad time of the month to do this project (happened in Dec, tons of hols, and tons of people on leave)? Was my workload too heavy, such that I could not devote more attention to this project? Am I in the wrong company (because I cannot fit into the culture, pace, etc)? Am I in the wrong department? Am I in the wrong job aspect? Though I'm new at the job, am I not improving up to speed to meet expectations?

And if the answer to all of the above is "yes", do I quit? And if I do, then the scary question is, what am I doing with my life? Since graduation, I have revisited this issue of identity many times. The cookie-cutter education system had eroded my instinct to pursue my real passions, and my Chinese upbringing (where parents downplay your strengths to make you humble) had crushed my confidence growing up. And now that I am nearing 30, that fear is even more pronunced as I feel time is running out for me to discover myself.

This weekend will be tough as I struggle to find answers, and bring them to the table in my discussion with the Boss next week. I'm not sure what resolution there will be. But I'm tired, physically and mentally. But compared to my last job, before I was about to quit, I'm not yet defeated. So probably I won't quit yet.

But will I ride out this storm? Just like when I rode out storms when I was in the previous firm, and emerged stronger and better? Could it be a passing phase?

I can't say.