我挺难过的。
家里电脑修理了无数次。最近因为交了新的音乐朋友，所以想从电脑找回多年前写过的歌。这才晴天霹雳地发现，储存歌词的旧档案没了！也不懂是什么时候不见的。刚告诉我爸（因为电脑都是他拿去修的），结果他也是晴天霹雳。
难过的其实不是因为歌词不见了，而是失去了一个代表年少岁月的实体物品。那些歌词虽然有些写得很粗糙，可是代表了那个时候对写歌的最初热情，还有刚崭露头角的才情，很珍贵。现在回想起来，也许当时是我青葱岁月里最美好、最乐观的时候。翻了抽屉，找到一些支零破碎的手写歌词笔迹，总算拼凑出几首较得意的作品。其余的就真的石沉大海了。
现在真的怕了。接下来就在这blog里po我“救出来”的那几首。
Monday, March 26, 2012
Sunday, March 18, 2012
而你
你在我昨天的梦里出现，
已有几次了吧。
有时觉得这很了不起，
但大部分时间觉得真的没什么。
爱不爱，是不是爱，
会不会爱，会不会长久。
我不太在乎。
觉得这样很好。
至少没有人左右我，
心情上的任何大起大落。
也许是年纪大了，长了慧根。
很多事即使复杂都可以简单化。
但因为你，
今天，我想多了。
------------------------------
小尘埃
作词：陈绮贞
他在五点十分醒来 他在清晨时候离开
透明的玻璃窗沾满小尘埃
我在这里 比黑暗更深的夜里
张开眼睛 陌生人寄来一封信
我在清晨时候醒来 带着他的暗示离开
在跌倒的地方勇敢站起来
我在这里 我在你昨天的梦里
一片乌云 一座神秘的小森林
谁来拥抱我 保护我 伤害我 放弃我
拥抱我 保护我 带着我逃到黑暗的尽头
拥抱我 保护我 或是伤害我 放弃我
拥抱我 保护我 带着我逃到黑暗的尽头 等着他
他在午夜时分回来 带着忧伤的歌把回忆敲开
我在这里 手提着沉重的行李 迷失在我和你未完成的旅行
你在哪里 一道解不开的谜题 隐藏在我和你未完成的作品
隐藏在我和你未完成的作品
已有几次了吧。
有时觉得这很了不起，
但大部分时间觉得真的没什么。
爱不爱，是不是爱，
会不会爱，会不会长久。
我不太在乎。
觉得这样很好。
至少没有人左右我，
心情上的任何大起大落。
也许是年纪大了，长了慧根。
很多事即使复杂都可以简单化。
但因为你，
今天，我想多了。
------------------------------
小尘埃
作词：陈绮贞
他在五点十分醒来 他在清晨时候离开
透明的玻璃窗沾满小尘埃
我在这里 比黑暗更深的夜里
张开眼睛 陌生人寄来一封信
我在清晨时候醒来 带着他的暗示离开
在跌倒的地方勇敢站起来
我在这里 我在你昨天的梦里
一片乌云 一座神秘的小森林
谁来拥抱我 保护我 伤害我 放弃我
拥抱我 保护我 带着我逃到黑暗的尽头
拥抱我 保护我 或是伤害我 放弃我
拥抱我 保护我 带着我逃到黑暗的尽头 等着他
他在午夜时分回来 带着忧伤的歌把回忆敲开
我在这里 手提着沉重的行李 迷失在我和你未完成的旅行
你在哪里 一道解不开的谜题 隐藏在我和你未完成的作品
隐藏在我和你未完成的作品
Sunday, February 26, 2012
什麼時候我才可以 進入你的心
「秘密」
詞:張震嶽
總在閉上雙眼之後 才能看見你
這是一個心中秘密 偷偷在愛你
你卻不知道 有人在想你
總在黎明來臨之前 我還是清醒
什麼時候我才可以 進入你的心
好想對你說 我正在想你
也許在你的心中早就已經有人進去
或許你不曾接受真正的愛真誠的情
遺忘吧過去的事 不要再懷疑
我彷彿可以聽見你的心跳你的聲音
不要只有在夢中才能看你才能靠近
我可以慢慢的等 直到你離去
總在閉上雙眼之後 才能看見你
這是一個心中秘密 偷偷在愛你
你卻不知道 我正在想你
###
最近迷上这首歌，每天要听上好几回，很能舒缓紧绷的情绪。《秘密》这首歌是1997年由张震岳创作主唱，收录于《这个下午很无聊》专辑，唱着年轻男孩暗恋的心情。 如今许茹芸唱出爵士版，编曲添了扑朔迷离的氛围，引人入胜。因恋爱原本就是一道迷，可以来无影，去也无踪。由许茹芸唱来，暗恋少了痛苦，多了处之泰然的心情。暗恋得不求回报、不计后果。
近年来，因为唱片界萎缩，出新唱片的风险高，就连曾是销售天后的许茹芸也难逃灌录口水专辑的命运。许茹芸的歌与歌声，我小时候不喜欢。后来我长大，因为很多人说我的歌声和她很像，混合很多气音，所以开始细听她的歌，逐渐喜爱。其实许茹芸是适合唱爵士和电音歌的，可惜她遗弃K歌转向这道歌路时，就是她事业走下坡的时候。
Thursday, February 23, 2012
水一片，我们都在思念
作詞：周耀輝 / 盧凱彤@人山人海
你太了不起 害我長一身魚鱗
冰冷我血液 從此閉不上眼睛
你給的空氣 害我水面上窒息
傷害我自己 用魚鰓拼命呼吸
* 不顧一切 把我勾到岸邊
死生一線 送你刺痛體驗
當初一別 我會為你思念
終有一天 你會為了我而哽咽 （我會為了你而）
鑽到深海裡 吞著大聲的回憶
擺動我身體 忘了什麼叫安靜
朝向漁網裡 反正感情都如此
剩下我自己 用魚刺雕刻故事
Repeat *
不顧一切 把我勾到岸邊
死生一線 永遠刺痛的拉扯
水一片 我們都在思念
終有一天 你會為了我而哽咽
我們都為了愛哽咽
--------------------
听卢凱彤的歌，一种奇妙的感觉油然而生。时间像倒回十多岁时，初听陈绮贞的音乐般震撼、感动。 陈绮贞后期移向抒情摇滚，让我怀念她最初清新、单纯accoustic， 没有修饰的风格。多年后，卢凱彤再以强烈的个人风格，赢得我的青睐。这首《哽咽》与陈绮贞的《鱼》有前呼后应的效果。同样是矛盾，只是《鱼》唱出跳出水前的期望，《哽咽》却道出跳出水后的互相毁灭。
最爱中间那段像似哽咽后，因抽气而引发的停顿。这样说来，哽咽不就像垂死挣扎的喘息？一个让你爱到死去活来的人，你敢要吗？
Sunday, February 19, 2012
Beauty Personified 2011 - The Great Decline
My blogshop Beauty Personified did not do as well as I had hoped in 2011. In fact, it reverted to how it did in 2010, which is a drop of about 46%. At a profit of $4652.41, it's about $2200 less earnings than the all time high in 2010. The truth is, the blogshop was doing well all the year till the last quarter of the year, then came a drastic decline that came from nowhere.
I did think of quitting the blogshop but realistically speaking, more than $4k of spare change is still respectable money that helps offset my ever-increasing taxes and with excess to sponsor me on a short trip yearly.
I think it's important to think about why the great decline came.
1) The exponential growth of plus size blogshops is alarming. I used to enjoy some sorta oligopoly, but the number of players in the field has outgrown the growth of this rather niche market of customers. With more choices, customers can now compare prices and value-added services, so it's natural that they will tend to flock to cheaper options, and if they are not happy with that, they may return to me. Hopefully.
2) Competing with lower prices of my respectable peers has been difficult. Because there is no market yardstick, the same item can sell between a range of $20 in the online sphere. I have to say that the profit margins of some of the competitors are quite remarkably low. Possibly they are setting shop for the sake of pursuing a hobby rather than to profiteer. For the amount of work I invest in my blogshop, it's hard to move downwards. Therefore, in order to charge a little lower, I've decided to scale down my work on the blog.
3) Departure of bulk-buying customers. 2011 saw the departure and decline of a handful of most loyal customers of my blogshop. Perhaps due to the economic downturn, i do notice that many customers have cut down on the number of items ordered. There's nothing much I can do about this, except to showcase more special items, whilst keeping the price of items in mind.
4) I did some reflection and felt that perhaps some of my sprees which take too long to end. I'm an online shopper myself and I do hope to get my purchases asap too. So the logical solution would be to have shorter sprees with small orders to create faster deliveries.
I would still like to continue with the blogshop since it's been 4 years of labour, and it truly is, a hobby.
I did think of quitting the blogshop but realistically speaking, more than $4k of spare change is still respectable money that helps offset my ever-increasing taxes and with excess to sponsor me on a short trip yearly.
I think it's important to think about why the great decline came.
1) The exponential growth of plus size blogshops is alarming. I used to enjoy some sorta oligopoly, but the number of players in the field has outgrown the growth of this rather niche market of customers. With more choices, customers can now compare prices and value-added services, so it's natural that they will tend to flock to cheaper options, and if they are not happy with that, they may return to me. Hopefully.
2) Competing with lower prices of my respectable peers has been difficult. Because there is no market yardstick, the same item can sell between a range of $20 in the online sphere. I have to say that the profit margins of some of the competitors are quite remarkably low. Possibly they are setting shop for the sake of pursuing a hobby rather than to profiteer. For the amount of work I invest in my blogshop, it's hard to move downwards. Therefore, in order to charge a little lower, I've decided to scale down my work on the blog.
3) Departure of bulk-buying customers. 2011 saw the departure and decline of a handful of most loyal customers of my blogshop. Perhaps due to the economic downturn, i do notice that many customers have cut down on the number of items ordered. There's nothing much I can do about this, except to showcase more special items, whilst keeping the price of items in mind.
4) I did some reflection and felt that perhaps some of my sprees which take too long to end. I'm an online shopper myself and I do hope to get my purchases asap too. So the logical solution would be to have shorter sprees with small orders to create faster deliveries.
I would still like to continue with the blogshop since it's been 4 years of labour, and it truly is, a hobby.
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