昨天我十五岁的表弟离开了本地，开始了他前往上海求学的生涯。这一别便是四年。
虽然我们不是十分亲近，但近年来，我们常在他们家开聚会，我也偶尔会带几个表弟妹出门。
从宣布、筹备到离开只不过短短的两周，令人相当惊讶。好像理由是他在这里的学校学业不佳，然后又加上我们上海有亲戚，所以就把他送过去念国际学校。
此外，他姐姐，也是我最亲的表妹，也透露因为学校科系将被被删减，自己将出国深造，最快是半年后动身。
自古以来，天下无不散之宴席 。有聚首就有分离。他们为了前程发奋图强，本应为他们感到高兴，只是想起来也有些惆怅。
想起王菲曾唱起，“有时候，有时候， 我会相信一切有尽头。 相聚离开都有时候，没有什么会永垂不朽 。可是我有时候， 宁愿选择留恋不放手。 等到风景都看透，也许你会陪我看细水长流。”
人离去的时候，留下的大概只有挂念，还有我们共同的期待。期待那个再度相逢的时日。
Sunday, June 24, 2007
Tuesday, June 12, 2007
了解
一个最了解你的人，不一定是在你身边的人。他也许在远处观察你，关心你的生活。
我就认识这样的一个人。她是我的前老板。我们同事半年后，她便被另一家公司以高价聘请走。不过在短短半年内，她一直不断提拔我，让我从之前那份不愉快的工作中走出来，重拾信心，算是我的贵人。他如果不走，我现在的机遇可能会好很多。
半年前，比我晚进来的同事在毫无预兆的情况下升了职，令比她早加入的同事不服气。在大家的祝福声下，没有人察觉我的沉默。几个小时后，我在家里想到自己的努力被漠视了，突然哭了。几个星期后，我和旧老板见面后，他问起我对此事的感想。我叹了长长的一口气。原来在事业上，了解我心思的人就只有她。即使不在是同事，她仍然为我的待遇感到不平。
其实她一直有在邀请我加入她的集团，但被我婉拒了。总觉得，我在现在的职场，还有待学习、进步的空间。但就像旧老板说的，我总有一天会走的。不为什么，因为闷了，想寻求突破。
在事业上，我终究是个不安于室的人。而了解这一点的人，可惜的，不在我身边。
我就认识这样的一个人。她是我的前老板。我们同事半年后，她便被另一家公司以高价聘请走。不过在短短半年内，她一直不断提拔我，让我从之前那份不愉快的工作中走出来，重拾信心，算是我的贵人。他如果不走，我现在的机遇可能会好很多。
半年前，比我晚进来的同事在毫无预兆的情况下升了职，令比她早加入的同事不服气。在大家的祝福声下，没有人察觉我的沉默。几个小时后，我在家里想到自己的努力被漠视了，突然哭了。几个星期后，我和旧老板见面后，他问起我对此事的感想。我叹了长长的一口气。原来在事业上，了解我心思的人就只有她。即使不在是同事，她仍然为我的待遇感到不平。
其实她一直有在邀请我加入她的集团，但被我婉拒了。总觉得，我在现在的职场，还有待学习、进步的空间。但就像旧老板说的，我总有一天会走的。不为什么，因为闷了，想寻求突破。
在事业上，我终究是个不安于室的人。而了解这一点的人，可惜的，不在我身边。
Friday, May 25, 2007
Closure
故事的最后是，她写了封电邮给他，祝愿他工作顺利。
当然--
也许他已经不记得她。
也许他会装作不记得她。
也许他会错过这封电邮。
又或者，他会大方地回答电邮，然后他们终于是朋友。
但他们不会亲近。
不可能亲近。
不可以亲近。
事过境迁，她知道自己又成长了一些。
当然--
也许他已经不记得她。
也许他会装作不记得她。
也许他会错过这封电邮。
又或者，他会大方地回答电邮，然后他们终于是朋友。
但他们不会亲近。
不可能亲近。
不可以亲近。
事过境迁，她知道自己又成长了一些。
Thursday, May 24, 2007
傻瓜
今天有个傻瓜因为我挨饿了四个钟头。他十一点msn我问要不要吃午餐。我很饱，所以说不要那么早吃。其实是不想随意惹他误会。后来我也没多想便和同事吃饭。
下午三点多，他又msn我问吃饭了没。原来他一直傻傻地再等我说饿，然后和他吃饭。顿然，我觉得内疚又感动。可是还是觉得他笨。饿就吃，干嘛等来等去。傻瓜。
有时想问他到底是不是喜欢我，但又怕他说：“是啊。怎样？”
是啊。那我要怎样？
下午三点多，他又msn我问吃饭了没。原来他一直傻傻地再等我说饿，然后和他吃饭。顿然，我觉得内疚又感动。可是还是觉得他笨。饿就吃，干嘛等来等去。傻瓜。
有时想问他到底是不是喜欢我，但又怕他说：“是啊。怎样？”
是啊。那我要怎样？
Friday, May 04, 2007
10 Things
Got tagged by my friend. Rule of the game is to state ten weird things or habits or little known facts about yourself.
In no particular order they are:
1. I made a lot of noise as a pre-school kid. I talked a lot, and I sang a lot. I would break into song during family gatherings, and demand that everyone sat around to hear me sing. My song repetoire? Liu Wen Zheng and Feng Fei Fei. (thanks to influence from my Dad who listens to them. Don't laugh. They were huge in the 80s, okay.)
2. Maybe I talked too much when I was very small. That's why I quietened down a lot when I got older. Another reason was I was targetted and kinda bullied twice in my earlier school years. In K1, this evil girl called Muimui told other kids "not to friend" me. In P1, this other evil girl called Joleen scribbled an extra "s" on some words in my spelling tests, causing me not to get full marks. I eventually told my mother, and my mother phoned the school to complain. You can be sure that my daughter will not be named Muimui or Joleen.
3. I was usually a very good and quiet kid in school but I flared up once in P3. My partner was in a really foul mood and she was snapping at me for every little small thing throughout the entire English lesson. My ruler kinda "drifted" onto her desk and she scolded me. Before I knew it, I had yelled at the top of my voice. The whole class stopped functioning. Everyone stared at us. The teacher punished my partner. I was let off because I was the teacher's pet. :)
4. In the early days of my childhood when my brother hadn't learnt how to talk, I grew up with 3 imaginary friends. Let's leave it as that.:)
5. Good kids sometimes get punished for no reason, and because we are good, we assumed that the beating was for a good reason. I had two memorable beatings from my parents for matters which was not my fault whatsoever. I got beaten by my Dad once cos my over-zealous Christian aunt decided to goad me into going to church with her. I didn't agree but my Dad assumed I did, and whacked me endlessly with the cane. Some years later, my mom whacked me like crazy when her teacher friend at my school told her my form teacher wanted to see her. The reason was not given but she whacked me anyway. When we finally saw my form teacher, she only wanted to tell my mother that I should speak up more in class. My mother went, "Chey, like that only ah." I never forgave that teacher friend of hers. Some people should just keep their mouths shut.
6. I was introduced to Mandarin Pop courtesy of my first idol, Ms Vivian Chow. The first song I heard when I tuned to FM 93.3 for the first time was "Jing Zai Bu Yan Zhong", and the program was the weekly Top 10 Charts. I loved the song straightaway. Hence, I tuned into the program every week onwards. That's how I picked up the other Mandarin pop songs quickly.
7. Trapped in a girls' school for 10 years, and an almost-all girl class in JC, I was very dim-witted when it came to anything related to BGR. In my late teens, at a student gathering, this guy who seemed interested in me asked me if I was attached. I said, "Attached to what?".
8. In my uni days, I once sang my compositions on stage. Famed music producer, Lee Wei Song, was at the concert, and told the student organisers that he was impressed and wished to see me. Because I didn't have a demo tape, I requested the organisers to give me a live recording of the performance. However, they dragged and took their own sweet time. By the time I got the tape, it was three months later and Lee Wei Song was in Taiwan already. My best shot at fame was gone. I was really sad for a long time after that.
9. Speaking of fame, I was on TV on two occasions. Once on "Jiao Dian" on Channel 8 in 1994, when they interviewed my massive extended family, and we all had to go cos it was a huge thing. Immediately after the show aired, I got calls from classmates and was bombarded by more people the next day in school. The next occasion I was on TV was in 2004 when I did a Channel U game show while interning at a production house, but this time no one noticed. Basically, I was part of the production crew, and I got into frame unintentionally a couple of times while running with my contestants. It was a hit and miss thing. I didn't see myself until I saw the video recording many times over.
10. I am an award-winning film-maker and scriptwriter, though not of extremely prestigous competitions. My video FYP beat out over 2500 entries from all over the world to make it to the top 100 films of the JVC Tokyo Film Festival in 2005. My entry was also the only Singaporean film. As for scripts, I got 2 merit awards in 2004 and 2006 for my first efforts in feature film writing and TV drama writing. Of course I won't let things rest like that. I will win more awards. More important ones too. Some day I believe it will happen. :)
In no particular order they are:
1. I made a lot of noise as a pre-school kid. I talked a lot, and I sang a lot. I would break into song during family gatherings, and demand that everyone sat around to hear me sing. My song repetoire? Liu Wen Zheng and Feng Fei Fei. (thanks to influence from my Dad who listens to them. Don't laugh. They were huge in the 80s, okay.)
2. Maybe I talked too much when I was very small. That's why I quietened down a lot when I got older. Another reason was I was targetted and kinda bullied twice in my earlier school years. In K1, this evil girl called Muimui told other kids "not to friend" me. In P1, this other evil girl called Joleen scribbled an extra "s" on some words in my spelling tests, causing me not to get full marks. I eventually told my mother, and my mother phoned the school to complain. You can be sure that my daughter will not be named Muimui or Joleen.
3. I was usually a very good and quiet kid in school but I flared up once in P3. My partner was in a really foul mood and she was snapping at me for every little small thing throughout the entire English lesson. My ruler kinda "drifted" onto her desk and she scolded me. Before I knew it, I had yelled at the top of my voice. The whole class stopped functioning. Everyone stared at us. The teacher punished my partner. I was let off because I was the teacher's pet. :)
4. In the early days of my childhood when my brother hadn't learnt how to talk, I grew up with 3 imaginary friends. Let's leave it as that.:)
5. Good kids sometimes get punished for no reason, and because we are good, we assumed that the beating was for a good reason. I had two memorable beatings from my parents for matters which was not my fault whatsoever. I got beaten by my Dad once cos my over-zealous Christian aunt decided to goad me into going to church with her. I didn't agree but my Dad assumed I did, and whacked me endlessly with the cane. Some years later, my mom whacked me like crazy when her teacher friend at my school told her my form teacher wanted to see her. The reason was not given but she whacked me anyway. When we finally saw my form teacher, she only wanted to tell my mother that I should speak up more in class. My mother went, "Chey, like that only ah." I never forgave that teacher friend of hers. Some people should just keep their mouths shut.
6. I was introduced to Mandarin Pop courtesy of my first idol, Ms Vivian Chow. The first song I heard when I tuned to FM 93.3 for the first time was "Jing Zai Bu Yan Zhong", and the program was the weekly Top 10 Charts. I loved the song straightaway. Hence, I tuned into the program every week onwards. That's how I picked up the other Mandarin pop songs quickly.
7. Trapped in a girls' school for 10 years, and an almost-all girl class in JC, I was very dim-witted when it came to anything related to BGR. In my late teens, at a student gathering, this guy who seemed interested in me asked me if I was attached. I said, "Attached to what?".
8. In my uni days, I once sang my compositions on stage. Famed music producer, Lee Wei Song, was at the concert, and told the student organisers that he was impressed and wished to see me. Because I didn't have a demo tape, I requested the organisers to give me a live recording of the performance. However, they dragged and took their own sweet time. By the time I got the tape, it was three months later and Lee Wei Song was in Taiwan already. My best shot at fame was gone. I was really sad for a long time after that.
9. Speaking of fame, I was on TV on two occasions. Once on "Jiao Dian" on Channel 8 in 1994, when they interviewed my massive extended family, and we all had to go cos it was a huge thing. Immediately after the show aired, I got calls from classmates and was bombarded by more people the next day in school. The next occasion I was on TV was in 2004 when I did a Channel U game show while interning at a production house, but this time no one noticed. Basically, I was part of the production crew, and I got into frame unintentionally a couple of times while running with my contestants. It was a hit and miss thing. I didn't see myself until I saw the video recording many times over.
10. I am an award-winning film-maker and scriptwriter, though not of extremely prestigous competitions. My video FYP beat out over 2500 entries from all over the world to make it to the top 100 films of the JVC Tokyo Film Festival in 2005. My entry was also the only Singaporean film. As for scripts, I got 2 merit awards in 2004 and 2006 for my first efforts in feature film writing and TV drama writing. Of course I won't let things rest like that. I will win more awards. More important ones too. Some day I believe it will happen. :)
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