New Dept, New Gary

Wow. It's been 3 freakin' mths since I last blogged, and another 6 mths since I last contributed an article to My Paper. The 1st 4 months at Marketing this year has been one of the worst ever as it's peak hell compounded by EduTrust certification audits.

It was also around this time that I learnt that my application to transfer to Student Activities dept has been approved despite the fact that I've yet to cap the min. 2-yr service duration requirement. This announcement comes as a surprise, and one of mixed emotions as I also learnt that my boss and mentor Dolly was going off on a 1-yr break. It is likely that she will not return if she "enjoys what she's doing" (in her own words). Once again I sit next to a Gary, same name, different person and personality.

As I leave behind Marketing which had been my home for 1 yr and 10 mths (longer if you count the OT hours), and transfer to my new dept tmr, I would like to look back at the highs and lows, and give a laundry list on what I will miss and not miss after today.

What I will miss
1) Mentorship from Dolly
I have mixed emotions towards Dolly. Some days I love her to bits and other days I'm really terrified of her. She's got a wide range of emotions and so, sometimes she's like your best gal pal, and sometimes she's the perfectionist boss who (in her own words again) has no room for C-graders in her team. But not every boss will include mentorship in their leadership. I've had bosses who are just people that approve my leave. And also met those who are afraid that you will outshine them. Dolly is neither. She is a boss, mentor, coach and most importantly a friend.

2) My team
I clicked well with my latest team mates, Gary and Jane because we are of the same age group. They brought smiles and laughter to a department which was lacking in that after Rae left. They are all dedicated and great to work with. Bee Pheng and Celine are of a different generation, but we've grown close over the last 2 years - I will miss their motherliness.

3) My Regional Marketing Portfolio
It took me a while to gain trust and expertise in this exciting field. I had high hopes about furthering my career here, which I felt could springboard me to success in many other companies and fields. However the company hasn't progressed to where this could be 1 person's sole portfolio. To do this, I had to do other stuff which I didn't enjoy.

4) Proximity to Important People
Not everyone wants to get near the bosses. But the truth is, if you want to get ahead, you must be within sight and earshot of the bosses. Especially when you do good stuff. Being at 6th floor helped some impt people notice me and appreciate my work. Being in 2nd floor unfortunately is 4 floors far, and hopefully it isn't out of sight, out of mind.

5) Proximity to better facilities
6th floor being where management is, has nicer stuff. Bigger pantry, cleaner loos, colour printer, etc.

What I won't miss
1) Transportation via lift
Getting to work via 3 lifts to 6th floor is an agonising wait sometimes. And 1 lift doesn't operate to 3rd and 4th floors so it's a lot of time wastage waiting for lifts daily.

2) Late Nights
Working in marketing is damn scary. To leave at 7pm is godsend. But usually it's between 7.30-8pm. Leave after 9pm happens about 3-4 times each month. Sure you get $10 meal allowance, but that's about it. OTs are not applicable to my level. We've also heard the closing announcements before during our worse periods.

3) Lillian*
I've tried my best to be nice to her but that only causes her to take advantage of everything and everyone. I finally see for myself the evidence backing the RP rumours about her bad work attitude. I pray that my ex-team doesn't have to suffer for much longer. To have a burden in the team is to work doubly hard - doing your own work + overcoming her mistakes and incompetence.

4) Filing
I don't like administrative red tape and Edutrust has added more workload for us in terms of administration. I already went home late, and suddenly I'm returning even later cos of paperwork, and filing, and documentation. Is this what I want to do with my career?

*Updated 3 June: Lillian leaves our co tmr, at the command of her RO and HR. No surprise to me as I knew the backstory, but a shocker to many. A bit sad for her at the sudden departure. Though she's a pest, some dignity ought to be given to cushion her fall lah. Give her time to say goodbye. Then again, it's not my call.

我们之间

我们之间
作词：梁文福
作曲：梁文福
演唱：蔡淳佳

等你等到不等了
很怕心疼的转眼就心痛了
就当我说真的 我是真的
我相信我们之间
越难得就越值得

知道你在想什么
不代表我是什么
明白你不说什么
不代表我不要什么
但你让一切美丽了
那些坏的 好的
我的手总是暖的
它总是想念你的手心的热

想你想到不想了
很怕太快乐会变得不快乐
就算你说真的 你是真的
紧抱着爱就不能呼吸了 唔

等你等到不等了
很怕心疼的转眼就心痛了
就当我说真的 我是真的
我相信我们之间
越难得就越值得
###

梁文福很少产，听到他的作品总是有惊喜。以前是陈洁仪唱的，现在是蔡淳佳的歌。其实梁文福写曲也不错，但更少。突然，好想象他们一样，当一生的创意工作者，用文字和天马行空的想像构出一篇一篇的传奇。

心酸

林宥嘉 - 心酸
作詞：施人誠

走不完的长巷 原来也就那麼长
跑不完的操场 原来小成这样

时间的手 翻云覆雨了什麼
从我手中 夺走了什麼

闭上眼看 十六岁的夕阳 美得像我们一样
边走边唱 天真浪漫勇敢 以为能走到远方

我们曾相爱 想到就心酸

人潮拍打上岸 一波波欢快的浪
校门口老地方 我是等候堤防

牵你的手 人群里慢慢走
我们手中 藏有全宇宙

闭上眼看 最后那颗夕阳 美得像一个遗憾
辉煌哀伤 青春兵荒马乱 我们潦草地离散
明明爱啊 却不懂怎麼办 让爱强韧不折断
为何生命 不准等人成长 就可以修正过往

我曾拥有你 真叫我心酸 

###

习惯吵，静态歌曲让人有喘息的机会。很reflective的调调，很适合歌里时过境迁，人事已非的情景。“为何生命 不准等人成长 ”写得真好，可惜我已过了那个会质问生命的年纪！现在的我觉得go with the flow, 活得比较轻松惬意。

林宥嘉是很不错的歌手，听他的唱片，就知道他是很有想法的歌手。这么年轻，就对音乐有他的见解，日后必定是有所发挥的可造之才。

I Escaped a Burning Building

Met up with some ex-colleagues tonight and heard the spine-chilling story of how one of them was forced to leave the institution, under a conspiracy cover-up, and tarnished reputation. And it all originated from a resentful student's email. The student knew that another class was given added advantage prior to the test and wrote a letter to the school authorities. Somehow my ex-colleague was implicated and conveniently made the scapegoat as she had made enemies with the ruling power of our ex-department. Unfortunately the furore took place at the same time that the ex-colleague got a new job offer at another civil service organisation. This civil service org, and as I found out about all civil service orgs, did a reference check on her work performance in previous public sectors. Her employers badmouthed her even though she never admitted to the charge and had persistently maintained innocence. This caused the civil service org to drop her. With this 'bad' record, it also meant that she could almost never find another government job in Singapore. Despite her plea to redress her grievance, the HR of my previous company decided to uphold the institution's reputation, by forcing the blame on her and insisting that she committed the offence. So in a way she was forced to quit.

I once said that I would return someday to RP to work as I liked the environment and I had a sense of gratitude towards the organisation. But after hearing what I heard, I doubt it will happen. Not whilst the people inside at least. To think all of these (plus other harrowing stories which happened to others) escalated a few months after I left. I'm lucky to have escaped a burning building. One which is being burnt down by the politicking staff at the top of the corporate leader, each with their own selfish mind-games and agendas.

大笨鐘

神(san) 情(ching) 動(dung) 作(jok) 手(sau) 勢(sai) 語(yue) 調(diu/tiu) 微(mei) 蕩(dong) 了(liu) 猛(maang) 風(fung)
才(choi) 令(ling) 細(sai) 砂(sa) 輕(hing) 得(dak) 太(taai) 沉(cham) 重(chung)
甜(tim) 言(yin) 蜜(mat) 語(yue) 親(chan) 吻(man) 笑(siu) 臉(lim) 全(chuen) 捏(nip) 到(do) 手(sau) 中(jung)
才(choi) 令(ling) 我(ngoh) 的(dik) 天(tin) 衣(yi) 有(yau) 裂(lit) 縫(fung)

難(naan) 道(do) 大(daai) 腦(no) 精(jing) 確(kok) 敏(man) 銳(yui) 無(mo) 誤(ng) 似(chi) 個(goh) 鐘(jung)
才(choi) 令(ling) 美(mei) 好(ho) 光(gwong) 陰(yam) 會(wooi) 停(ting) 頓(dun)
難(naan) 道(do) 熱(yit) 吻(man) 低(dai) 了(liu) 攝(sip) 氏(si) 何(hoh) 度(do) 也(ya) 會(wooi) 懂(dung)
才(choi) 令(ling) 我(ngoh) 要(yiu) 清(ching) 醒(sing) 去(hui) 造(jo) 夢(mung)

糊(woo) 塗(to) 蟲 實(sat) 在(joi) 聰(chung) 明(ming) 無(mo) 知(ji) 卻(keuk) 快(faai) 樂(lok/ngok) 地(dei) 談(taam) 完(yuen) 段(duen) 段(duen) 感(gam) 情(ching)
從(chung) 不(bat) 知(ji) 他(ta) 可(hoh) 醜(chau) 惡(ok) 得(dak) 反(faan) 得(dak) 到(do) 美(mei) 景(ging)
談(taam) 情(ching) 全(chuen) 敗(baai) 在(joi) 精(jing) 明(ming) 能(nang) 將(jeung) 愛(oi) 透(tau) 視(si) 又(yau) 如(yue) 何(hoh) 合(hap) 著(jeuk/jue) 眼(ngaan) 睛(jing)
好(ho) 醜(chau) 只(jek/ji) 因(yan) 太(taai) 會(wooi) 辨(bin) 認(ying) 想(seung) 偷(tau) 生(saang/sang) 所(soh) 以(yi) 更(gang) 薄 命(ming)

人(yan) 在(joi) 夢(mung) 裡(lei/lui) 搜(sau) 索(sok) 快(faai) 樂(lok/ngok) 連(lin) 夢(mung) 也(ya) 乍(ja) 醒(sing)
魚(yue) 在(joi) 細(sai) 水(sui) 玩(waan/woon) 得(dak) 更(gang) 盡(jun) 情(ching)

糊(woo) 塗(to) 蟲 實(sat) 在(joi) 聰(chung) 明(ming) 無(mo) 知(ji) 卻(keuk) 快(faai) 樂(lok/ngok) 地(dei) 談(taam) 完(yuen) 段(duen) 段(duen) 感(gam) 情(ching)
從(chung) 不(bat) 知(ji) 他(ta) 可(hoh) 醜(chau) 惡(ok) 得(dak) 反(faan) 得(dak) 到(do) 美(mei) 景(ging)
談(taam) 情(ching) 全(chuen) 敗(baai) 在(joi) 精(jing) 明(ming) 能(nang) 將(jeung) 愛(oi) 透(tau) 視(si) 又(yau) 如(yue) 何(hoh) 合(hap) 著(jeuk/jue) 眼(ngaan) 睛(jing)
巴(ba) 不(bat) 得(dak) 不(bat) 會(wooi) 再(joi) 辨(bin) 認(ying) 這(je) 麼(moh) 想(seung) 高(go) 興(hing) 更(gang) 掃(so) 興(hing)

我(ngoh) 願(yuen) 我(ngoh) 蠢(chun) 更(gang) 聰(chung) 明(ming) 無(mo) 知(ji) 方(fong) 知(ji) 天(tin) 機(gei) 算(suen) 盡(jun) 難(naan) 敵(dik) 天(tin) 命(ming)
白(baak) 花(fa) 心(sam) 思(si) 分(fan) 析(sik) 處(chue) 景(ging) 抱(po) 著(jeuk/jue) 仍(ying) 聽(ting) 到(do) 雪(suet) 落(lok) 有(yau) 聲(seng/sing)
談(taam) 情(ching) 敗(baai) 在(joi) 精(jing) 明(ming) 連(lin) 口(hau) 耳(yi) 眼(ngaan) 鼻(bei) 亦(yik) 形(ying) 成(sing) 道(do) 別(bit) 背(booi) 影(ying)
巴(ba) 不(bat) 得(dak) 擁(yung) 抱(po) 當(dong) 入(yap) 定(ding) 巴(ba) 不(bat) 得(dak) 疏(soh) 遠(yuen) 當(dong) 避(bei) 靜(jing)

寧(ning) 願(yuen) 笨(ban) 到(do) 只(jek/ji) 會(wooi) 晝(jau) 夜(ye) 循(chun) 環(waan) 像(jeung) 個(goh) 鐘(jung)
從(chung) 未(mei) 覺(gok) 得(dak) 光(gwong) 陰(yam) 有(yau) 裂(lit) 縫(fung)

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说歌曲作词者是现代诗人一点也不为过，林夕便是其一，他更能把词与曲融合一体，这不是每个创作人能胜任的。林夕的广东词尤其厉害，把等爱的痴女形容为大本钟，任由岁月蹉跎，仍坚守感情，是执著还是愚蠢呢？